The Atkins Diet Leaves A Bad Taste In My Mouth

I’ve been a Mt. Dew drinker since I was a kid.  My mom never bought it for me at home but any time we went anywhere I was allowed to get it, and I’ve been drinking it heavily since my teenage years.  I’ve always known Mt. Dew is bad for me, but I’ve also known that it’s delicious.  The one ridiculous thing I never knew about Mt. Dew, though, is how well it eliminates an after-taste.

On April 15, I started Atkins.  If you’re not familiar, it’s the craze from a few years ago consisting mostly of meat, with no sugars and only about 15 carbohydrates per day from green vegetables.  No bread.  No fruit.  No potatoes.  No Mt. Dew.  These foods have been staples of my lifestyle for decades.  Now on day 5, two things have become agonizingly clear: every food has a terrible after-taste, and water does nothing to solve the problem.

Today I had broiled salmon for lunch and it was delicious.  Ever since, I’ve had a terrible taste in my mouth and all the water in the world won’t get rid of it.  I finally went and got some 5 sugar-free gum, and while I chewed it, there was no bad taste to be had, but as soon as I spit it out, I tasted salmon again.  Good grief.  Mt. Dew would’ve solved this issue with a swift righteousness that James Joyce couldn’t put into words.

Hopefully I’ll find something to alleviate this issue, or else my diet may go down in a fiery crash.  All over a bad taste in my mouth.

-J

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~ by hamiltonjacobs on April 19, 2013.

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